Illustrating Leadership Lesson: Reframing Failure
One of the most damaging patterns leaders fall into after a misstep is personalization. A decision does not land, a mistake is made, or a risk backfires and suddenly the story becomes:
“I’m not cut out for this.”
“I failed my team.”
But failure is not an identity. It is an experience. You may have made the wrong call with the information you had. You may have miscommunicated, overlooked something, or taken a risk that did not work out. That does not make you the failure.
This distinction matters deeply in leadership. When you fuse your identity with a single outcome, you limit your ability to recover, learn, and move forward effectively.
Why Transparency Builds Trust
One of the most powerful things a leader can do after a failure is to name it. Not to dramatize it or overexplain, but to acknowledge it honestly.
When leaders hide their missteps, teams learn to do the same. When leaders model transparency, they create psychological safety. People stop focusing on blame and start focusing on learning.
Think about the leaders who impacted you most. They were not flawless. They were real. They owned their mistakes, reflected on them, and invited others into problem solving rather than fear. That is what builds trust and credibility over time.
Reflecting Without Spiraling
After the initial sting of failure, once emotions settle, the most important leadership question becomes:
What was my role in this?
This is not about shame or self blame. It is about honest reflection. Try asking:
• What choices did I make leading up to this?
• What assumptions was I operating under?
• Where did I have an opportunity to course correct?
• What information or support was I missing?
This kind of reflection does not weaken your authority. It strengthens it. Taking responsibility for your part, not everything, builds self awareness, wisdom, and long term growth.
Emotions Are Data, Not the Decision
Failure often triggers intense emotional responses like fear, embarrassment, anger, or the urge to withdraw. That is normal. Your nervous system is trying to protect you.
But emotions, while valid, are not the whole story. They are information, not instructions.
Instead of leading from emotion, lead with awareness. Ask:
• What is this emotion trying to tell me?
• What story am I telling myself and is it true?
• How can I respond in a way that serves the bigger picture, not just my ego?
That pause between feeling and action is where leadership strength lives.
Preparing for Failure Instead of Fearing It
Failure will happen. You do not need to chase it and you do not need to be afraid of it. You can prepare for it.
Decide now how you want to respond when things do not go as planned. Build practices that help you regulate your nervous system. Remind yourself that you have survived failure before and you will again.
Leaders who move through failure with clarity, accountability, and compassion are the leaders people trust most. They do not hide. They do not spiral. They reflect, learn, and keep going.
Failure does not define you.
Transparency builds trust.
Reflection fuels growth.
And leadership continues, wiser than before.
Your host, Jessica Wright, is a Life & Career Development Coach for Leaders and the Founder of Wright Life Coaching, LLC. You can connect with and follow her on LinkedIn.
